It's nice living there in paradise, my remote boyfriend said. He's there working inside avoiding the cold wind from the North Sea and grunting his flu off, while I'm here being stressed trying to make good impressions in my not-so-new-but-still job. But it wouldn't be possible for him in his season there to just decide to go diving; he would freeze. I wouldn't.

So I went diving last sunday. It's around 3 hours from here, a very nice and quiet pebble beach. The last time I was supposed to be diving (but went snorkling instead) was when I was 10 or something, a friend of my father's made a photo of me with fins which are too big for my feet and a sheepish smile. Fins are still to big for my feet anyway now. I wonder if I grew bigger at all instead of fatter.